Lonely
by fallen-forgotten-faith
Summary: Both of them were the same. Both all alone. She had set out to kill him, but in the end...she was the one who died. A Sess x Kag fic. Oneshot.


She gripped the arrow tightly in her hand; clutched it with a fierce determination.

She knew what she was about to do.

She had rehearsed it so many times before, in her head. Surely she couldn't mess up. In her other hand was her faithful bow, and with a twinge of sadness she associated the bow and arrow with Inuyasha and Kikyou.

She was older now, only by a few months, but still older. At least, now she was mature enough to know that her love for him was unrequited and that hoping he would one day come to his senses was unnecessary, and otherwise rather stupid.

She saw the glow of campfire and felt the warmth of it, even from behind a bush roughly a metre away. She heard the giggles of a little girl, the annoyed remarks made by someone and finally, the silence that followed after.

Could… could he sense her presence?

He was a youkai ,after all. His sense of smell would be amazingly accurate. She was sure he would be able to pick up her scent. So she had to do this fast , before he caught her.

Where was he?

She scanned the scene. Rin was kneeling by the fire, chanting some children's rhyme, whilst Jaken was sulking beside her. As for him – she saw him, beautiful as always , sitting quietly at the side.

She had no regrets for what she was about to do. When she was younger, perhaps guilt would have overwhelmed her. But now… now, she was stronger. Raising her bow and arrow, she aimed it at him.

Slowly she pulled it back, Rin's childish rhyme ringing in her ears.

I wish I had a mummy To hug and to kiss me 

_**I wish I had a mummy**_

_**So Daddy won't be alone**_

Her hands froze. The arrow threatened to shoot forward and pierce through his heart. But as she listened to Rin repeat her little chant, she realized how, if she killed him, the poor thing would only have Jaken. And that thought was hardly comforting.

Was he – as lonely as she was?

She watched him intensely, holding her breath. He was emotionless, as usual, but she could feel that underneath that façade was someone truly alone.

Sure, friends surrounded her. She had admirers, to boot. But… despite all that, she was…empty. Alone. And afraid.

She set the bow and arrow down and turned to face the path which she came down from.

"I knew you were there since the very beginning," he stated suddenly, in a tone that suggested both arrogance and iciness.

She smirked.

"Good for you, then. You know my purpose for paying you a visit?" she asked sarcastically, in an equally frosty voice. She despised him for reasons she herself didn't know.

" Who ordered you to kill me?" It was soft, but in that angry kind of soft that could cause her death.

"No one, Sesshomaru."

She heard the shuffling of footsteps and assumed that Rin and Jaken had scrambled off, fearing what might happen next. She figured this conversation was getting too unhealthy for a young girl like Rin to hear.

" So you too detest me, am I right , pathetic human?"

Proudly she jutted her chin out. "Yes. I do."

"Why is that so? We're both sad, aren't we? Especially you. Always getting your heart stepped on by my idiotic brother. Half-brother," he added angrily.

"It's none of your concern."

But she could feel the tears prick at her eyes. What he spoke was only the truth, and she herself knew it.

"And…"

She heard him walk towards her, and experienced a slight breeze around her legs.

Somehow she felt blind and deaf not facing him.

She felt something sharp poke into the arch of her back, and despite herself, let out a little gasp of surprise.

" I could kill you right this instant."

To emphasise his point, he pressed the arrow a little deeper in so that it drew a bit of blood. Yet she felt nothing, much like a void.

"I don't really care anymore," she mumbled.

"You know how lovers always say they want to die in the other's arms?" he asked, in what seemed to her a playful, teasing tone.

She was sure it was her imagination.

"Yeah," she spat out, frustrated with her inability to move.

She realized he had also grabbed her hand tightly so that she had no way to escape. Unless she knew how to spin around and kick him, but of course she didn't.

"I'm doing you a favour," he whispered in her ear.

She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to ignore him.

"I don't love you."

Pain shot through her as the arrow poked into her a bit further. She was sure her shirt would be blood-soaked.

"Are you sure?" was his nonchalant response.

And in that moment, she finally understood why she had hated him so much before. Because he was so different from Inuyasha. He was everything she wanted yet was scared to have, and so she settled for Inuyasha.

"Yes," she lied through gritted teeth.

"I see." She caught a glimpse of a faint nod in the corner of her eye.

And after that, she immediately felt the arrow pierce through her, letting her experience the pain she had intended for him. She cried out in shock and horror.

He had done it so quickly. She could feel the wind brush past her, could feel the blood seep through her clothes, could taste the salty tears that she had somehow spilt.

She collapsed into his arms.

Her last breaths were quick and short, like staccatos. Closing her eyes, she said : "I was lying."

He smiled.

"I know."

Gently he placed her on the soft ground where she had trodden on just some minutes ago, on a mission to have him killed. Ironically, now she was the one dying. She forced herself to look at him one last time. He was a fair distance away already, but his head was turned back.

And thought she saw, in the dim moonlight, a lonely tear in his eye.


End file.
